Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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