All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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