You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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