Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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