sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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