didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
