just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
