ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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