it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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