I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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