We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
