is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
