she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
