i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
