Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
my being single is dangerous.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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