i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
oh god the rape fog is back!
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
