I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
