Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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