peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
