No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
