He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
