is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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