may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
