3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
now i know why i became what i already was.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
