South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize