isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
