Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
we made out on top of his cat.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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