i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize