thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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