I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
