come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
