i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
