On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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