my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
