So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I can't put those talents on a resume
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
