i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
