So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
How's work?
Spinning.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Still dying that you shit outside
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
