You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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