i just identified you from a description of your pipe
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
