do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
