You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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