Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
