I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
