While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
