yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
