Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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