Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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