Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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