I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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