remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
