Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize