At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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