I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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