He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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