im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
