apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
