Someone shit on the floor
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
