Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
