I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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