quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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