i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
